And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
