Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
