The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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