If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
should my penis look like a turkey
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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