is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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