I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
