Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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