you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
