Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
