sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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