i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
