What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
