this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
