it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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