your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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