Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
