absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
