i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize