awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
