her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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