I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
