How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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