It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
