she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
