C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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