Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
