I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
