You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
