I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
