using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
