I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
