I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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