I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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