just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
