you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize