You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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