Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
