so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
