the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
