so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
