i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
