24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize