oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
