new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
