I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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