Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
