How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
