I molested 6 butterflies tonight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
