his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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