wat bout pragnant strippers??
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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