Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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