this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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