somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
